Why Reading the Bible is Turning Millennials Away from the Church

“Almost every major branch of Christianity in the United States has lost a significant number of members, Pew found, mainly because millennials are leaving the fold. More than one-third of millennials now say they are unaffiliated with any faith, up 10 percentage points since 2007.”

Let’s talk about this.

I grew up in the Church. Both my maternal and paternal grandpas are pastors. My parents served in youth ministry my entire life and are now missionaries in Colombia. I grew up in RA’s, Awana, VBS, Sunday school, homeless ministries, church pews, youth group, small groups, men’s breakfasts, youth retreats, and bible studies. You name a church thing and I probably participated in it at some point. I’m a Millennial Christian. I was raised in a certain culture and am who I am today because of it. A ton of people were raised similarly, but are leaving the Church and the faith and the Savior that I hold so dear. A lot of you older Christians are very confused by this. You try desperately to make youth group deeper, to get us in Scripture more, to get us to go to Bible schools and study theology and pursue God. What many of you don’t realize is that much of where you’re pushing us is actually leading us away from God, but not for the reasons you might realize.

I studied theology a bit in college. I took some classes in which I ate stuff up. I love God’s Word. I love when God corrects my beliefs or teaches me new stuff. But what confused me for a while was that these classes killed the faith of many. People actually got angry at the school and reported professors for, in their minds, discrediting and destroying faith. People across campus still talk about how the UFND theology classes at SPU pushed them away from God. In my mind, this almost has to be because the faith of these students had been placed on the wrong foundation by their churches, teachers, and culture. Rather than being taught that all of this is stuff God meant for us to encounter and wrestle with and figure out, they were taught that a challenge to previously held notions or beliefs was wrong. When all of these challenges suddenly came on, there was no foundation in the critical absolutes.

“If _____ wasn’t true, then everything could be wrong. Many of us don’t even think that _____ isn’t “true” per se, but that it can just maybe mean something else than what we’ve been taught.”

A memory of mine that has firmly shaped my theology today is that of a few words from my parents when I was a kid. It was a Sunday, the pastor had preached a good message, and I was talking to them about the service and Church. I’d left my Bible at home on accident and they reminded me, “Make sure to bring your Bible. Make sure to read your Bible and double check everything that’s said and taught. Because even though Pastor is a good guy, he could still end up teaching something that isn’t sound. Anyone can. That’s why you have to be ready to check everything against what God Himself says.” Thank God for my parents. Luckily they trained me up in a way in which the reality of my faith was dictated directly by Christ and His Salvation and what God says in His Word. A lot of us weren’t taught to challenge teaching and the Church from within it. A lot of us weren’t taught that we should be questioning and finding things that seem to conflict. A lot of us were taught that Scripture is inerrant and that this means that something that seems to conflict can’t be real, rather than being taught to dig even deeper and find the proper interpretation. A lot of us tried to resolve these things and were just shot down by leadership as if we were challenging the existence of Christ Himself. Because if ____ wasn’t true, then everything could be wrong. Many of us don’t even think that ____ isn’t “true” per se, but that it can just maybe mean something else than what we’ve been taught.

What’s happening today is what happens when you have a church with a faith based not on Christ and the Gospel, but on doctrinal teachings, culture, family, music, morals, and politics. What’s happening today is what happens when we ignore Paul when he said that he “decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” What’s happening is us Millennials decided to study Scripture further than anyone before us and couldn’t reconcile Scripture with what we’d been taught was foundational. What’s happening is seminary is nicknamed cemetery because of how much people’s faith dies in it as God’s Word seems to conflict with things they’ve been taught. What’s happening is a deep confusion between pursuing and knowing God and what to do when we discover things that run counter to what some have taught us “Christianity” is. What’s happening is we’re further into Scripture than ever, with an abundance of head knowledge, but our churches are failing to emphasize heart knowledge.

As we dig and dig, we’ve found things that seem to conflict, both with what was taught to us and what Scripture seems to say. We dove headfirst into Scripture and for many of us it destroyed our faith; a faith that some of Christian culture had pushed onto the wrong foundation. The Church told them that women can’t lead in Church or society. They found Deborah in the Bible. The Church told them that homosexuality is wrong based on Leviticus (Seriously, why not base those beliefs on Romans 1?). They found that you eat shellfish and that the Law was fulfilled in Christ. The Church told them that the world had to have been created in 7 literal days. They found that Jews saw the Creation account as poetry and that chapters 1 and 2 of Genesis give different orders and accounts of Creation. We found that Jesus’ ascension happened in completely different places in different parts of Scripture. You told us to dig and dig and dig. We did. And we came to you with questions. You told us that Scripture all aligned and all meant X. Much of the Church, rather than acknowledging these tough questions and trying to figure them out with us and properly interpret them, just said they were wrong, misinformed, or even blasphemous.

So what happened?

Many millennials decided it ALL must not be true; that it all must not be real. Many millennials said that if their church wasn’t right about _____ in Scripture, it might not be right about anything. Many millennials dove into Scripture and found everything they’d been taught to be challenged and at that point just said, “What? This doesn’t make sense.” And with no foundation built on challenging and deciphering Scripture, with no foundation on the essential truth of Christ, the importance of Christian community, and how to figure out seeming paradoxes, Millennials left the Church. I’ve seen this happen right before my eyes. You’ve seen it happen. Many of you just don’t seem to get why it’s happening.

“I do not believe that I am inerrant or that my pastor is inerrant.”

I believe Scripture is the inerrant Word of God. I believe it is a tool that God gave us to figure out life, to guide our morals, and to know Him. But I believe this means that we must follow Scripture over culture. I believe this means we will find things that challenge what we’ve been taught. I believe this means we will learn we were wrong and God will grow us. I believe this means that when we see stuff that doesn’t make sense, we have to dig into the Greek and the context because there really is reason for the differences. But I do not believe that the Church is inerrant. I do not believe that Christian Culture is inerrant. I do not believe that I am inerrant or that my pastor is inerrant. It seems that we’ve mixed this stuff up here in America.

I know this has been long, but I want to leave you with this encouragement, both for you Millennials and for those of you who want to make this right or dig into this stuff yourselves. The Protestant Church exists today (and the Catholic Church is better today) completely because one man found a false teaching in his church and, rather than leave or abandon the Church, attempted to teach and reform it. Perhaps you’ve heard of this Martin Luther guy. Let’s all be a little bit more like him (minus the anti-Semitism and crazy stuff from later on) and be unafraid to dig into Scripture and continue shaping and reshaping our faith forever. Let’s not abandon the Church, but wrestle with guiding it from within. Let’s not lose faith because we find God seems to say things that “Christianity” doesn’t, but rather shape our faith to the new things God teaches us constantly. Let’s be a learning and mobile Christianity.; one Body dedicated to Christ, under His grace and salvation, and living lives of sacrifice for His creation, people, and Kingdom. Amen.

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A Parable

A Parable

All Who Are Thirsty

I need you to form a mental picture with me. Imagine a man. We’ll name him John. John is in a desert, on a long journey to a destination that he does not know. All he knows is that he must continue on. Of course, being in a desert, this man finds himself thirsty for water rather often. At various points along his way, he finds small bodies of water. Sometimes he even finds an oasis, with some green, shade, and cool air that gives him temporary relief in his journey. Still, at every point this water is always dirty and mucky and quite often carries some nasty stuff in it. Every now and then John finds himself sick from it. But hey, it’s what’s there. And when he’s thirsty, naturally he’s going to go to this water. After all, even if it doesn’t always leave him amazing, and sometimes even makes him worse off, it quenches that thirst of his; that ever-present thirst that never seems to go away for too long.

One day, John comes across a stranger in his travels. This stranger doesn’t look like much, but something about him intrigues our character. So John approaches the stranger and greets him. The stranger greets him in reply. This stranger has a gleam in his eye. John can’t quite place it, but there’s something welcoming and friendly about this guy.

After some conversation, the stranger points out the obvious. “You look a little parched man.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Have you looked around? This desert never seems to end. Who wouldn’t be thirsty here?”

“Yea, I can tell you, this journey isn’t exactly a short one. Sorry man. The water that you do find isn’t too great, is it?”

Slightly frustrated that this stranger is bringing up his chief point of annoyance in life, John replies, “I mean, it’s all pretty much the same. Not especially clean…and every now and then I get a little sick. But hey, it still feels great when it quenches my thirst and it’s not like there’s anything else.” The stranger smiles to himself about something as John is thinking of his exasperation, annoying John even further. “Is this amusing to you? Are you any better off out here?”

“Not amusing,” replies this stranger. “I’m just excited about what’s in store for you.”

“What?” asks John, somewhat incredulously. He goes on to make his lack of amusement clear. “What are you talking about? More desert? Oh yay.”

“Well, yes, there is more desert. Everyone’s got to make this journey. But I can help you out. I have this canteen here. It’s kind of mystical. You see, it always has clean water.”

“Well where do you get this water to put in it? Why can’t you just tell me where to get it?” inquires John, with his curiosity now piqued, but still somewhat annoyed.

“No, you don’t understand,” says the stranger, with a knowing smile. “You’re right where you get it. Just take the canteen from me and it will always have clean water. It will never run out. It will be better than what you have and you’ll have it more abundantly.”

Now John’s a little skeptical. If this is so great, why doesn’t everyone have it? Who is this guy to have this thing? Tentatively, John reaches out his hand to accept the canteen. He grabs hold of it and decides to check this thing out for himself. He takes a swig. “Wow. That really is some good stuff.” But still, he wants to see about this. It never runs out? Seriously? So he drinks more. The thing is still full! John can’t get enough. He pours it freely, with it overflowing past his mouth and down his chin.

“Pretty great stuff, eh?” comments the stranger. “Sorry, I just realized I never told you my name. I’m Judah.”

John pauses from downing the canteen and wipes his chin, “Excuse my excitement. I just haven’t ever had anything quite like this. Can’t say I ever expected to find something like this in this place either. I’m John.”

“Oh I know,” says the mysterious Judah character, with a twinkle in his eye. “Your journey will forever be different now. In a very good way, I trust. I’m glad I could sate your thirst and make this journey somewhat easier for you. Now, I must go and continue my mission to bring this mystery to others.”

“Who exactly is this guy really?” John wonders to himself. Shaking Judah’s hand, John bids him a pleasant journey and the two depart.

As he continues on, John thinks a lot about this encounter. It always leaves him a little bit in awe and amazement; how his life could change so quickly and in such a great way, from such a simple gift. Soon enough, it’s been weeks since John was thirsty. The journey still isn’t exactly peaches and cream. After all, he is still in the desert. But it is certainly better and easier. And what was it that guy said about everyone having to make this journey? What exactly lies at the end? “I don’t know,” John thinks to himself. “But I have a feeling it’s something good. That man seemed to hint at that anyways. He certainly seemed to know more about all of this than I do.”

Just as he’s thinking on this, John sees some green in the distance. An oasis! Pleasant respite. As he gets closer, he sees the body of water home to this oasis. This water actually looks really inviting. He hasn’t really drank any water from anything but that canteen in so long. Why not try something else? He approaches and dips his cupped hands into the somewhat murky water. He raises his hand to his mouth and drinks it. Not incredibly amazing, but it is certainly familiar. It just feels good to drink something here from the ground itself rather than that canteen water. After taking his fill, he sets up camp at this oasis and falls asleep for the night.

In the morning, John awakes and finds himself not feeling too great. “Ah, that water I drank must’ve had something in it. Not again. Oh well, it tasted good and I had to drink something,” he thinks to himself. Wait, it seems that John has forgotten entirely about Judah’s canteen. It’s deep in his bag. How does that even work? How does one just forget about something that changed his life so drastically and that he found so wonderful? Days go by, John drinks fills a bottle up at various watering holes, and the old life seems to be back. One day, he’s shuffling through his bag looking for something and finds that old canteen from Judah.

“Wow! I totally forgot about you!” John exclaims as he lifts the shiny silver canteen. “How did that even happen?” He excitedly drinks from the canteen, finding his thirst sated in a way that it hasn’t been in days. Our character determines that he will never let this canteen out of his sight again.

Before too long, it’s back in the bottom of his bag, he’s found a tempting oasis, and the whole process has repeated itself. Each time he comes back to Judah’s canteen, he can’t imagine why he ever let it go for so long. Sometimes, the time he goes without it is very long. Sometimes it’s only a day. Sometimes he sticks to the canteen alone for months. Sometimes only for days. But each time he rediscovers it, it’s as fresh as ever. Always there to satisfy his thirst when he needs it, no matter how long he’s foolishly left it in his bag. As time goes on, John forgets about Judah’s canteen less and less. One day he reaches the final destination of his journey. There he finds Judah and a paradise that he never could have imagined. With open arms, Judah welcomes John.

“Welcome home. I’m glad I could sustain you all the way through the journey, even if it was a little bumpy at points,” Judah says. “Now you will truly never thirst or hunger again. After all, I am the source of the water in that canteen. Let me show you the beauty of this new life.”

Let’s Break This Down

This story is the journey of a man whose life is not too much different than ours as Christians. We are all on a journey through deserts and oases in life. We all came to the One who said that we would never thirst again if we drank from his cup. And still, we somehow forget this fulfillment from time to time. We wander. We drift. We fill our lives with water besides that from the Fountain Himself. We forget entirely about this Fountain and find ourselves with empty bottles that we must refill with dirty water, pursuing all sorts of things besides God, when we have this continually full and clean canteen right there, already full.

Here’s the thing. We are made full in Christ. When we put him aside, we put aside that only fullness we have. Naturally, we will need to fill our lives (or water bottles) with something. And it will most definitely be worse for us than Christ’s ways and fulfillment, no matter how appealing it looks. It doesn’t work to merely go on and say no to the dirty water. We have to drink. We are people in need of some sort of fulfillment; some sort of pursuits and passions. This is what Christ meant when he called us to abide in him. He didn’t call us to morals first. He called us to abide and drink from his cup. After that, all things of Christ will come naturally. When you have that canteen in hand, suddenly that dirty water doesn’t look quite so appealing. Suddenly, our sin nature, the nature of this world, those natural and dirty ponds, they all seem clearly lesser than this new Source of sustenance available to us. So today my encouragement to you is this: Drink from the fountain. Don’t fight thirst with nothing but an empty bottle. Keep Judah’s canteen on hand. Don’t struggle through a desert without the Fountain of Life present with you. And if you don’t yet have Judah’s canteen, let’s talk. I know a guy.

(This blog has been based on Isaiah 55 and John 4. Check em out. They’re pretty great.)

Church, Where Are Your Tears?

Some wise words from a good friend of mine.

De Opresso Liber

I was born to a middle-class (remember when that was a thing?), white family in the United States of America. Both of my parents have college degrees, love each other immensely and provided a childhood that was blissfully full of books, horses, and days spent tramping through the woods with my siblings. But I never saw any of this as “privileged”. It was just my life. I never had new clothes, regularly ate leftovers, and had to start working at 16 to pay for my truck. I truly didn’t believe I was anymore privileged than any of my friends. Then I started actively expanding my understanding of the world and the life experiences of others in it. I already knew, yes, I was incredibly privileged to have been born in America. But then I stumbled upon the concept of white privilege. Talk about an unpleasant wake up.

I was always…

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This Guy Claimed to Be a Christian. You Won’t Believe What He Did.

Disclaimer: This is not pretty. This is messy stuff. Here you go. Whatever you do, don’t just read part of this.

The Good

The man we’re about to talk about is a pretty messed up dude. He claims to be a Christian, but he sure doesn’t always act like Christ. You’d never suspect it either. I mean, this guy was a leader in his youth group in high school, he led bible studies, he volunteered in VBS in the summer, he came from a great Christian family, he serves in a youth group, he seems to have some insights on spiritual matters and Scripture. We all thought he had the Christian checklist all marked off. Then we found out his secrets.

The Bad

Oh man, plenty of this guy’s actions aren’t Christ-like. Is this guy even a Christian? You might not think so after reading this stuff. His faith can’t be authentic. Christians don’t do that stuff. This sin-list certainly counters any “Christian” list he might qualify for. He’s messed around with multiple girls, but he’s made the excuse to himself that it wasn’t too bad because at least he’s still technically a virgin and wasn’t having sex. Pff. Wow. Semantics much? Still abusing and misusing intimacy. Furthermore, get this, he’s had an on and off porn addiction since middle school. Porn. That industry in which plenty of women are trafficked, manipulated, lied to, and abused. Gross, right? He’s a bit arrogant and prideful and it totally messes with his witness. He’s hypocritical and definitely guilty of taking actions that he condemns in speech. What the heck is up with this guy? He can’t be a Christian. Nope. Jesus is all about that righteous life. Sinners are God’s enemies and He will judge and smite them all, just like this guy. God’s grace was meant for people who don’t abuse it or don’t go against his ways. Not for people who have premarital sex, marry the same sex, talk and act racist, have affairs, kill innocent people (especially those who kill Christians), or overall willfully sin.

The…Unexpected?

Wait. What’s that? Oh. Yea. I forgot to tell you something. This guy is me. Eish…Maybe I should’ve told you that in the beginning. Maybe you now see me way different. Maybe you don’t. But I’m telling you all of this for a very important reason. Today our Supreme Court legalized gay marriage. In response, plenty of Christians have been talking all about how our nation is going down the drain, is in moral decay, etc. But this ruling, in actuality, changes nothing. Regardless of your views on the morality of homosexuality, I have something to tell you. We’re all rampant sinners. Absolutely guilty of sin and rebellion directly against God and His ways. We don’t give enough, we don’t spend enough time in fellowship with our Creator, we sin in all sorts of sexual ways, we covet, we gossip, we’re hypocrites all the time. I could go on and on. We’re pretty messed up people. Why is it that we, broken as we are, see these people and their sins as so much worse? Divorce as we know it today, for instance, has been legal for a long time. And many of us Christians are guilty of it despite the fact that Christ spoke directly about divorce (and not about gay marriage). Yet we cry out about the willful sins of this small demographic while ignoring our own or keeping our own secret and in the dark? Even worse, many of these people know nearly nothing of Christ and the teachings of Scripture, while we claim we do. At least these people are merely guilty of ignorance! We in our own sins are guilty of so much more. At least I am anyways… Let me tell you today. If you want to cry out against someone, cry out against me. Cause I am a Dang. Terrible. Sinner.

The Beautiful

But I will SHOUT in response to you about a DANG. AMAZING. GRACE. The grace that saved and constantly redeems me, a broken man who acts out of brokenness and who periodically pursues things that I know are contrary to my God’s will and my own good. The grace that looks at people across the world who don’t know their Creator and sees a people in need of an absolutely beautiful redemption. The grace of a God who sees us not as vessels of deserving damnation, but as a lost and broken people in desperate need of his rescuing hand. The grace of a God who sees us all as lost sheep in need of a shepherd. The grace of a God who came not to heal the healthy, but the sick. Let me tell you, we are such incredibly blessed creations in that He decided that us broken people are actually worth dealing with and taking the time to heal, restore, and renew. On the daily. Read Hosea. You and I are metaphorically whores. Whoa. But all he wants us to know is that he loves us and wants us to walk with Him in ways that will restore us and bring us true fulfillment. After all, He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

It’s Not Just Me

You know, I’m not the only one who knows Christ and yet acts in these ways. “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” You know who said that? The Apostle Paul. A man who many of us aspire to be like. A man who many of us picture as the ideal Christian. This man called himself the chief of sinners. Elsewhere he said he does all the wrong things that he recognizes are wrong and doesn’t want to do. You ever have those times where you’ve done something wrong and it’s just like, “Dang, I really shouldn’t have done that…”? Well guess what, Paul’s telling us right here that he had those moments all the time. Additionally, 1 John kicks off with saying, “Yea, you’re all a bunch of dirty sinners. Don’t even deny it and add ‘liar’ to your list of sins. It’s alright though. Just take it to God and he’ll clean ya up on the regular.” I mean, basically that’s what’s said. So rather than talk about sins, why don’t we talk more about this grace?

Why I Wrote This

Today, when you find yourself wanting to point out how bad things are in our world, how messed up the movement for gay marriage is, how evil perpetrators of violence in the Middle East are, how beyond redemption our culture is, I have a challenge for you. Instead, get a little bit introspective. If you can’t do that, just look at my own list of sins. Then say to yourself and then to God, whether about yourself or me, “God redeemed and redeems me/that hypocritical guy. God desires a relationship of love with even the worst of us. God, make me a vessel that shows others this redemption and persevering love that they can know.” Instead of seeing the failure in others, look to the glorious beauty of our Lord’s redemption offered to us undeserving sinners. It certainly is a more beautiful thing to focus on. As a daily recipient of this redemption, I should know.

Thank You Baltimore

When I was six years old, I went to Baltimore for the first time. I have three memories from that bit of time. One, my family and I went to some fancy seafood restaurant near the harbor and I ate crab with the use of a hammer for my first time ever. Being encouraged to smash things at the dinner table is just about the best thing that can happen to a six year old, so of course I loved that. Two, we fed ducks and geese at a pond near our motel the day before we flew to move to the Azores. This was something we’d often done at my home before we began our moving process, so this was something familiar and special to me. Three, we walked along the harbor and through a shopping center and I found myself mesmerized by the employees at a fudge shop fittingly called “The Fudgery”. These folks were singing, tossing that fudge around, dancing, and providing a performance that just overall fascinated me. This little blonde kid with a bowl cut (me) was standing in front of the fudge case with a beaming smile. Their smiles, their laughter, their singing, the joy, and the presence of delicious fudge that I desperately wanted my parents to get for me…Well, as a six year old these were all of the best things in life. At the time I didn’t notice this fact, but in memory, these employees were mostly black. At the time, this was irrelevant to me. Now I can’t stop wondering what their lives are like there in Baltimore. Were they affected by these riots? Were they affected by police brutality? (In the last five years there have been 100 court judgments or settlements awarded to victims of police brutality and civil rights violations. And those are just the cases that got that far.) Are they still bringing people joy like they brought me? Is life and society bringing them joy?

Fast forward about five years later. I live in Virginia at this time. My family sometimes takes day trips up to D.C. and Baltimore. One day, we visit Baltimore and go by The Fudgery again. I loved it just as much as before. For my family, it was just a momentary pause. I don’t know if they even remember it. But I remember that brief moment we stopped by. It was a chance for me to remember an earlier joy I’d had five years ago. It was a chance to participate in an atmosphere of joy currently there before me. I remember one man in particular who worked there. He was black, singing as he flipped the fudge with his little scraper thing (I’m kind of unaware of fudge tool terminology), and smiling a big smile full of shiny white teeth. He had short dreads. He was a pretty young adult. I thought, “That’s a really cool guy”. Quickly, we were off to visit a science museum or something. But I’d had my moment. I’d gotten to see my favorite place.

Fast forward ten years. I now live in Seattle, WA. I’m watching racial tensions ignite across our country and praying for Baltimore as it experiences troubles I could never dream of. I’m praying for African Americans who feel unheard and utterly frustrated with the system of our society. I’m praying for the police and public officials in Baltimore, that they might be given wisdom, peace, and a spirit of reconciliation. I’m praying for business owners and the population of Baltimore, watching as conflict has descended on their home. But most of all, I’m praying for those people who made me smile as a six year old boy. I’m praying for that young black man, now in his 30s or so I suppose, who impacted me as an eleven year old boy. I’m praying that he’s safe. That he’s been free from police brutality. That he’s a voice for reconciliation. That he’s still bringing joy and happiness to people and wearing that big, contagious smile.

Baltimore, and the greater black community of our nation, is experiencing a great struggle right now. Pray for them. Stand with them. Acknowledge the wrongs wherever you want, but, more than that, choose to see the rights being done. Choose to see the good in people and strengthen that. Rally around the voices of reconciliation. Support the efforts for progress. Hear people out. Bring peace, justice, and understanding. Pray for Baltimore. Pray for Maryland. Pray for our nation. Pray for that man from The Fudgery with that beaming smile. I want you to know there’s light in the midst of these bits of darkness. Light like those people unknowingly displayed in my life. Light that we can all choose to see, support, and be ourselves. Strengthen this light and the darkness will fade. And thank you Baltimore, for putting a little bit of that light into my life as an awestruck boy at a fudge factory.

If you appreciated the spirit of this post, feel free to share it yourself! I would love to see these words stand out as a positive note in the midst of all the negative media we consume.

What The Heck Am I Doing?

Proverbs 16:3,9
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans…
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.”

I graduate in basically three weeks. I keep worrying about life and how to dedicate my time. What to pursue primarily. Whether to work in the non-profit sector or business. At what pace I want to (or even can) grow my business. Should I momentarily take a break from Zima as I figure out the rest of life? What if I make the wrong decisions right now? Am I even supposed to stay in the US? Or am I supposed to be in Africa asap? Should I even work in the non-profit or business sector? What if I just work in ministry as a pastor or something? I could definitely see myself as a pastor. Should I look for some openings in that? Am I even qualified for that? I studied Global Development, not Theology… And then would I be able to leave my church for ministry in Africa at some point in the future?

Again, where does Zima lie in all of this? It’s really hard to start a business. I don’t feel adequate. I don’t feel like I know how to do this. But God can carry it if he wills, right? What if it isn’t his timing though? Then again, people are depending on me, on Zima. So many people across the developing world are already seeing hope and opportunity in Zima. And we’ve launched sales and operations. We can’t just put it on pause, can we?

Basically, over and over and over I enter into self-doubt throughout my day. I don’t know what to do or how to do it. But I read this passage and I find a certain peace.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans…
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.”

In my heart, I plan my course. I plan it over and over in a million ways. Sometimes I wish I had several lives to pursue several different careers and life paths. In one I’d be a missionary. In another I’d work my way up the corporate ladder. I’d have to use one life to pursue my passion for music and another to dedicate the time and practice to be a professional soccer player. Yet another life I’d spend as a pastor and author. Another I’d have to pursue would be life in the Air Force.

I know that the career I desire above all is to impact Africa through business and development and use that as a platform for missions, but as I approach graduation and begin applying for jobs and stuff, it’s really hard to see how I’m gonna get from A to B. I plan and plan and plan, trying to figure out how I’ll do this. But this verse reminds me that, hey, you really aren’t gonna be the one to make your life happen. If you’re committed to God through it all, he’ll carry you where he wills. And where he wills is better for you than anywhere else that you can be.

So Lord, here I am, committing it all to you. I’ll do what I can, but you take it and run with it. My prayer for myself and for the rest of you finding yourselves at different crossroads in life is that God will establish your steps and that you will find peace in that. As we try to “do life”, remember that God’s sovereign and has got your back. In fact, he created you for exactly whatever it is he’ll be guiding you to. So don’t worry too much about it. God’s gotcha. I promise, he’ll establish your steps.

#Ferguson: A Gospel Issue

the NEW EXODUS

I am so tired of waiting,
Aren’t you,
For the world to become good
And beautiful and kind?
-Langston Hughes

It was in my college Liberation Theology class back in 1990 that I first discovered different ‘Gospel’ perspectives – perspectives from those steeped in death and persecution, suffering and scarcity.  We spent evenings at my professors house reading and discussing Gustavo Gutiérrez, Juan Luis Segundo, Leonardo Boff, Jon Sobrino, and a host of African and Asian liberation theologians.  It may have been the first ‘aha’ moment for me, the first realization that the Gospel wasn’t just about getting saved and voting pro-life.

A next significant time came during the year I lived with Tom in the hood in Chicago.  Though I grew up on Long Island with great diversity, I was a suburban kid, mostly protected from the issues Tom grew up with.  Tom was black, and he showed me and told…

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